Thursday, July 20, 2017

Gettin' #FidgetSpinner Wit It

Saint Fidgeta Spinner
As you're celebrating the feast day of Saint Barhadbesciabas today (get ahead of others and look him up), you might find yourself a little irritable, a bit restless. And you might find yourself twitching in mass. And you might find yourself jittery during the Eucharist. And you may ask yourself, well, how did you get this fidgety?

That's when you reach for your Saint Fidgeta Spinner. Find strength in it from demoniac possession, scabby knees, and all causes of the desire to itch, twitch, or run screaming up and down.

Teach us to sit still.

Amen.

Other churches have their own thoughts on the little buggers, though:

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